So recently, like less than a week ago I decided to big chop and embrace my natural hair. Almost every single one of my friends were discouraging me for months about it because they know my laziness when it come to my tresses. I just do not like to do it! I want to spend no more than 10 minutes daily on my locks. Anything more and it gets the frown face like a full time job!
But on August 2, I walked myself into Alisa of Cosmo Crush’s salon, sat in her chair and said, “lets do this mannnnn” (in my Chris Tucker voice). I am so thankful and lucky to have a hair dresser who cares about hair health over hair trends. She is ready to help me along this journey and that is the absolute most important part. Get you an Alisa ASAP!
Rewind about 5 days prior when I think God came down himself and struck me with an epiphany wand. I was sitting on my couch with the beau and really thinking about my newfound weight gain, (33lbs) and it hit me that I was not working out as much because I hated doing my hair after. With weekly social events to attend, I am always worried about how I will look. And that irritated my whole soul. The fact that my vanity and slothfulness was keeping me from being healthy was the last straw.
I have never really been into looks. Of course I believe in looking your best but I have never been the person who needed a lot of makeup, certain clothes, plastic surgery etc to feel good about myself. I still very much feel that a great person looks way better than a not great person. But the fact that my hair was holding me back from a lot in life made me feel really bad about myself. This was NOT the best Jennifer I strived to be and I made the decision then and there to go for it.
I would love to say that I chose to big chop and embrace my natural hair in order to be closer to my culture but that would be a bold face lie. I did it for a couple of reasons.
- After reconnecting with my biological father and realizing what my ethnic background is, I was curious to see the state of my hair texture.
- I no longer wanted to hold on to my hair over being healthy and getting a good sweat in 4 times a week.
- I realized I was WAY too tied to my hair and my looks. Given that I have gained a ton of weight, I put so much emphasis on my face and hair in order to feel good. I was going with the long hair not only because it was easy and not only because I did want it for my photo shoots in the desert but because it hid some of my body and made me feel smaller. I was trapping myself in this prison of my own making and I was NOT going for it.
The minute Alisa cut off the relaxed ends (about 3.5 inches worth), my hair sprang to life. Or maybe it was the curls being released from the weight of the straight ends and finally able to dance freely but regardless it was a happy moment! Alisa and I both were CERTAIN that my hair was wavy. When we saw actual curls, our faces morphed into big ole smiles. Hair texture really does not mean much to me but it was just a very interesting surprise and something extra to add to my journey.
We decided to rod set my hair so that I could get used to it with a low manipulation style. Once it was dry and we were plucking it out, I wasn’t sure of the girl in the mirror. Sure I had short hair before. Really short. Completely shaved at the sides and back type short hair but the girl with the curls and teeny pouff was new to me. I kinda panicked initially and wanted something more familiar. So then I asked her to cut down the sides for me. Kinda mohawky and I felt better. Until I got home and again freaked internally. But it was short lived once I started running my fingers through it and playing with it.
Seeing those curls spring to life with just a few drops of water had me excited and rejuvenated. Now I kinda have an obsession with that. I love adding product and seeing them pop.
And that brings me to my issue.
I know not a gosh darn thing about natural hair.
I have so many products I was sent by PR companies back in the day and don’t know where to start.
Whats a curl pudding vs a curl activator?
Do I want gel or edge control?
Is a wash and go really just wash and run out of the house or do you put product in it?
Do I need to co-wash or can I use shampoo?
Am I a Shea Moisture girl or a Cantu beauty chick?
AHHHHH my mind is racing but its oh so fun!
So to all my veterans out there-
Talk to me and guide me. Help me navigate this natural hair road as lazily as possible (heehee)
And what on Gods Green Earth do I do once the rod set comes out?
So in the end the reason I decide to big chop is because I did not like the woman I was becoming. I ddi not like my unhealthy attachment to my hair and I did not like the fact that I was choosing looks over health. It also irked me that I was choosing to stay relaxed only because I did not want to deal with a new challenge. I also hated the fact that I was looking at my beau and wondering- will he still love me with these curls? LIKE seriously WTF!
I worked far too hard to better myself and to gain a sense of self that is healthy to allow something like hair to derail me!
This was by far one of the ABSOLUTE best decisions I have ever made and Im so happy that my hair guru was a part of it!
All tops worn in this post are from Zara.
Full detailed outfit post coming soon!